Is crying as a new nurse common? If you cry and feel overwhelmed, does it mean you were not called for nursing after all?
In a previous article and video, I talked about crying in nursing school, which is something that many nursing students experience. However, crying doesn’t always end with nursing school, and many nurses find themselves struggling with this same emotional issue.
Nurses don’t always like to discuss this issue because crying sometimes makes people feel weak and vulnerable. Nevertheless, this happens, so I wanted to discuss this issue and give you some tips on how to deal with it.
Why Do Nurses Cry?
Nurses can cry for many reasons. For starters, you see some sad things as a nurse. Kids get cancer, and people die. Experiencing those things can take an emotional toll on you, regardless of how much you try to take your emotions out of it.
However, a big reason that many new nurses cry is because they begin to feel overwhelmed. They may feel like they have too many tasks to do and can’t focus enough on individual patients. This makes them begin to feel as though they may miss something important each shift and fail to provide appropriate patient care.
Nurses can begin to stress about liability issues or doing something wrong, which leaves them with limited time to do nursing tasks — and that’s not even mentioning all of the little unexpected things that pop up during a nursing shift that you have to address.
New nurses may begin to think, “How am I going to get through all this? Will I ever feel better about my career in nursing? Did I make a mistake becoming a nurse? Is nursing really for me?”
Have I Cried as a New Nurse?
Some of you may be wondering whether I’ve ever cried as a new nurse. I can tell you that I have definitely shed some tears.
Up to that point when I started working as a new nurse, I had never seen someone die, and I knew that it would be hard to handle when it happened. And then it happened: I had a patient die in a very dramatic way with their family standing all around. They were all sobbing and screaming, and I broke down and cried with them!
I’ve also had moments where I felt overwhelmed as a new nurse. Sometimes I’d leave a shift feeling like my head would explode, and I felt like I couldn’t bear to hear any more alarms going off. I’d wonder how I was going to remember everything I needed to know as a nurse; or how to prepare for a certain testing procedure; or what papers I’d need for each procedure, and so forth.
I’d feel like I was under a lot of pressure and didn’t have enough time or energy to get it all done.
Therefore, I can relate with many of those feelings that new nurses experience. I’ve been there myself, and I know how difficult it can be in some facilities when you are starting out as a new nurse.
How to Cope as a New Nurse
If you find that you’re crying or just feeling overwhelmed or depressed, here are some things that may help you.
1. First, realize that these feelings are common.
I won’t say every single nurse goes through this, but I can tell you that many new nurses go through this. In fact, this is why many new hospitals have residency programs in place to help new nurses have a smoother transition and adjust.
Starting any new job is hard, and there’s a lot to learn in the world of nursing. So know that you aren’t some loser or failure for feeling this way. I felt the same way, and so have many other nurses.
2. Don’t give up too soon.
Many new nurses become so overwhelmed that they end up quitting after only a few months. In my opinion, that’s too soon. I would give a new job a minimum of one year, maybe a year and a half, unless it has some really toxic issue (such as harassment, safety issues, extreme shortages, etc.). If you find that you still struggle with it after a year or so, maybe a different floor or specialty would suit you better.
However, it takes a lot of time to develop confidence, learn the protocols of a facility, get familiar with staff, and so forth. If you can wait for a full year or more, you’ll find that you are much more comfortable in your job. After 2-3 years, you’ll probably feel like an expert on your floor, especially compared to how you felt when you first started.
I’m not saying that you’ll never have a rough day, because nurses do have bad days, but you will feel more comfortable, know what you are doing, and cope with it better than when you first started out.
3. Find another nurse to encourage you.
I was blessed in that I was able to talk to more experienced nurses about my concerns, and that really helped. I would ask them, “Will I ever learn all this?” They’d tell me, “Yes, I know it seems impossible right now, but you’ll get the hang of it.”
And they were right. It takes time to gain experience, and a little encouragement from your other nurses can help so much. Try to make a bond with some of your coworkers, and try to soak up as much knowledge as you can from the experienced ones.
4. Use those intense emotions to improve your nursing skills.
There’s nothing wrong with having a good cry or venting your emotions. But don’t remain in that emotional state. Pick yourself back up, and see how you can improve the situation.
For example, if you don’t feel confident in some area, spend some time on your off days researching as much as you can about it. Review textbooks or watch videos. Research medications you commonly administer or diseases you commonly encounter in your patients.
If your facility offers a course on those topics, sign up for it, and try to absorb as much as you can so that you can to build your confidence and knowledge.
5.Work on organization and time management.
I learned the importance of time management very early on. One thing that helped me so much was setting small time goals. For example, “By 9:00 am, I’m going to have all of my head-to-toe assessments documented, have medications pulled from Omnicell, and be in the process of giving those medications.”
By organizing everything into a time schedule, it forced me to stay productive and on task. Granted, sometimes unexpected things happen, but breaking things down into manageable goals helped me so much.
6. If you need help, get help.
If you find that you are experiencing deep sadness or depression that you just can’t shake, get some help. This is especially important if you are feeling like you just can’t cope in life, having symptoms of depression, or have thoughts of suicide or self-harm.
In the U.S., you can call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988.
There is no shame in getting some support if you need it.
Don’t Give Up on Nursing Just Yet
I know that starting a new job in nursing is hard. There is so much to learn, and it is easy to feel completely overwhelmed, stressed, or even incompetent at times.
However, things will get better with time. You’ll learn how to do your job more efficiently; you’ll gain confidence in your skills; and you’ll become more familiar with your floor, patient population, and coworkers.
Just know that you aren’t alone in feeling that way, and try to take it one day at a time. You’ll get the hang of things and start to feel more comfortable before you know it.
Remember: you made it through nursing school, and that’s a huge success in itself. And by working as a nurse, you’re doing a lot of good in the world. You’re making a real difference by helping others. So yes, you may have doubts or struggles, but never forget that what you do on a daily basis matters.